Frustration!

We have been working on our living room for almost three months. That's three months of living out of our kitchen because the living room is all torn apart.

People ask how we're doing on it, and my always-optimistic response is that it's coming along. But you know what? It's not coming along. We're not even done with the sheet rock. Yeah, after three months of working, we're still working on the sheet rock! And when people do ask and I tell them our progress, that's as far as it goes. Meanwhile, George is out serving others and helping them with their projects.

I may just be in a pissy mood tonight, but I'm feeling sort of crapped on. You see, whenever other people need help, we're right there. Not every time, I will admit,but most of the time. But when we need help? Oh, no, sorry, we're all out of town! We're all doing something else. Why? Well, it feels as though, since we're not key players in the ward, we're just not important enough to help. George isn't in some magnificent calling, so he's apparently just overlooked. It seems as though it's those "important" people who get the help.

Why is it taking so long, you may wonder. Well, we have Saturdays to work on it, and part of Tuesday (when George happens to get off work early). I can't do anything after work during the week because I have homework. I have Madeleine. I have to make dinner, clean the house for the millionth time because of all of the dust from the living room! I have no time to do anything on the living room because I've got a bunch of other things that need to get done. So, really... what help can I possibly be? Not a whole lot. And there the living room sits, all torn apart.

Tonight, in the clutter of the bathroom, Madeleine was walking and she tripped and fell. That sent me into a worse mood because of all of the crap that's displaced everywhere. She was fine from that. But then it gets better. With all of the crap that's displaced in the kitchen, she tripped and fell again. Only this time she landed on the corner of the refrigerator door! Yeah, she has a big shiny goose egg on her forehead. So you'll all get to see that at church tomorrow. That ought to go over well.

I might sound like I'm ungrateful, and maybe I am. Maybe I'm just human. Or maybe...juuuuuuust maybe, I'm tired of being overlooked by everyone as though we can do everything on our own. Maybe I'm tired of helping everyone else but never receiving help when we really need it. Or just maybe I'm tired of feeling like we're insignificant because we don't inject ourselves into everyone's business. Yup, that about sums up how I feel.

And you know what? I'm at the point where I'm not even interested in anyone helping because, at this point, it would purely be patronizing. It would not even be out of the kindness of someone's heart, but more out of pity. No, thanks. We'll do the rest of it on our own. It's been this long, why not a little more.

I will say, though, that we've had one person help with the electrical. That was greatly appreciated, as we can rest assured our house won't burn down. And if it weren't for George's dad, who very unselfishly put off his own project to help, we would still be trying to figure out a way to put up the beams in there. So, if any of you need help with something, we'll be out at George's parents' house helping them with their projects to return the favor.

Gee, I almost feel better. Oh wait, Madeleine just tripped AGAIN in here!! *sigh* It just keeps getting better and better. With any luck, and lots of positive self-talk, I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.

Good night.