Madeleine is very much like me. She's very confident, outgoing, outspoken, honest, and has a strong Type A personality. So naturally, she likes to be in control of the situation. Why didn't I think of this before?!
Case in point...
I picked up the kids on Tuesday after work and headed for the grocery store. As soon as we started off, Madeleine told me she and her friends pulled a ticket in school that day. Pulling a ticket, in a nutshell, is like the equivalent of a time-out or short detention. I could tell that as soon as she said that, she wanted to take it back and forget about it. Sorry, honey bunny. Not doin'. So I asked her what she did to pull a ticket. The remainder of our conversation went like this, and it's nearly verbatim:
Her: Mom, you have to understand something first. It wasn't just me. It was my friends, too.
Me: Great, but I'm not your friends' mother. What did you do to pull a ticket.
Her: I don't think you're understanding, Mommy. It wasn't just me. It was my friends, too.
Me: Okay, we've established that. What did you and your friends do to pull a ticket?
Her: Well.... *long pause* We were having fun talking and laughing, and then all of a sudden Miss Pitts and Mrs. Sandy told us all we had to be quiet. But we were having so much fun that we just kept talking. So we had to pull a ticket.
Me: So what you're saying is that you didn't listen to what your teachers asked you to do, right?
Her: *sheepish tone* Yeah...
Me: Do you realize that when you're told to do something by your teachers you need to be a good example to your friends and listen?
Her: Yeah...
Me: And you're aware that there are consequences for your actions when you do inappropriate things, right?
Her: *sigh* Yeah...
Me: So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to let you choose your punishment for when we return home tonight.
Her: What's punishment?
**I had to explain in great detail what punishment means. She knows what "consequences" means, so I had to equate the two for her to understand.**
Me: So your choices are as follows:
1.) You can sit in time-out quietly for 5 mins with no books or toys;
2.) You can stand in the corner for 10 mins;
3.) You can have a swat (last resort, but still an option if she chose);
4.) You can go to bed tonight at 7:30 instead of 8:30 like normal.
Her: Well, I already know that I don't want to sit quietly in time-out, and I definitely do not want to stand in the corner. I guess my only option, then, is to go to bed at 7:30 tonight.
A swat wasn't even an option in her mind, which made me happy. Having to spank her, I believe, is tougher on Daddy and I than it is on her.
7:30 pm arrived without fail, and the strangest thing happened. Madeleine brushed her teeth, put on her jammies, gave me loves, and then went straight up to bed. No whining, flailing, complaining... nothing. Just a cheerful retirement to bed.
The moral of the story here? Give her some control in her life on making decisions (not the major ones yet, obviously!) and life just might be a bit easier. :)
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